I'm so sorry about Stephanie  / Linda, Ray's Mom (POS)
Stephanie was so Beautiful. I just wanted to let you know that I visited your website for her and that I am so sorry she is gone. My son also died by suicide in July of 2001. It's been so hard. I still cannot believe it at times. The only thing that gets me through is knowing that one day I will be with him again. 

Take Care,

Linda, Mom of Raymond Close

Mothers- Daughters- Grandmother on this Mother's Day 2006  / Mum Always Mum, Shirl (Mother's Day 5/14/06 )
Love you, Stephannie
more than you'll ever know. God knows how I miss you.
I pray you've known...

Did you set off the alarm today?  My wake up call- 
Give Gram Betty my hugs-5 years on the 17th...
but I think she knows already....Love you both, the mostest.
~just me~


I found this in a closet...written by Stephannie L Rutka age -8?    
(no corrections made-all original)

RECIPE FOR MY MOM:
5 cups of beauty
1/2 cup of funnyness
3 tablespoons of happnies
1 1/2 cups of driving
1 tablespoon of carring
6 1/2 cups of shopping
4 1/2 tabelspoons of anger
Mix them all together and thats my   MOM !

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Dear Stephanie  / Barbara Baker (POS)

Steph,
I am a grieving mother just as Shirl your mom, and honey right now she is really having a down time. Please find it in your heart to give her some extra love and strength and show the signs of love you can manage for her to help her get over her little set back. 
She loves you so much and misses you that much more. It is just not a good time for mom, so I ask you for her and I will say a prayer to you tonight to please help your mom through her bad time. 
Let your love shine through.
God bless you Steph.
Barbara, mama of James

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a Poem Rutkalion  / Jaesi G. (My Sorority Sister )
My Rutkalion, So big and so much braver,
When other were mean, you come be my savior,

When i was lonly and i was sad
you made everything not seem so bad

You call me up, i could here the smile of on your face,
We'd make dinner every monday and not care about the taste,

You came to visit, ran to my room
jumped my bed, happy like a cartoon

I think about it sometimes, how i couldn't say good bye,
then i remember, i'll see you again, one day in the sky.
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LOVE & CARE TO SWEET STEPHANNIE  / Jane Einarson (I care )
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET STEPHANNIE  / Jane Einarson (I care )
Thinking of you & your special family today. God Bless XXXOOO Close

Beautiful Stephannie  / Jane Einarson (I care )
Dear Stephannie, Thinking of you & your special family this season & always. I pray that it is peaceful & gentle. Please watch over your Mom & Dad. God Bless. Love & respect XXOO
Jane ((Matthew's Mom)) Close

Another grieving Mom  / Cindy Janikowski (POS)
What a wonderful tribute to your beautiful daughter Stephannie. I am so sorry you are traveling this long hard road. I lost my son to suicide 3/4/05 and I know it is something we will never "get over". They will be in our hearts until the day they meet us in heaven. Stephannie will never be forgotten.
With Love and Hugs,
Cindy
Kevin's Mom forever
8/22/84 - 3/4/05 Close

My sincerest regards  / Stacy Westfall (high school classmate )
I can tell you that I was not considered a best friend of your daughters, but I can say I knew her and we were friends. I can honestly tell all of you that she was such a sweet girl. Her smile was inviting, she was so friendly. All through school I can not tell you that she ever, ever was mean, rude or anything but sweet. She was absolutely stunning. We ran into each other well before school ended at a recruters office, and she was just radiant, she inspired me to try to persue a military career. I dont think I really got to talk to her besides for a hey how are you thing, so i dont know if she got the chance to go, but what ever she did i am sure she did it the best out of everyone. I was completely at shock to hear all of this. I didnt even know about any of it. I was blind sided. I have twin boys f my own and was told one of them was going to pass, after he fought, he is with me now, and i could not imagine losing my child. I will pray for your family. I know in my heart that your little girl is looking down and smiling at you, she is protecting you like you did for her. Let your heart heal with the thoughts and memories of this beautiful soul, for she was suffering, and she is at peace now. Close

"Stephannie - a poem for you"  / Lisa (former roomate )
I miss you so much, so I wrote a little poem just to let you know how much you mean to me.

Even though I know you will never read these words...
I know I hear your voice in the songs of the birds,
the way you felt your music deep in your heart.

Even though you're gone we are not apart.
I will always remember the silly things we did.
you playing your guitar and acting like a kid.

We had so much fun in our late night talks
and the livliness you put in this house everywhere you walked.
You gave me comfort when no one else would
You made me feel like no one else could.
The way you danced around and round and
the giggle you had, I miss the sound.

Every room you walked thruough you just made it glow and
You always had loving words about your little sister and
how you wanted to see her grow.

You had so much wisdom and knowldge you always shared
and you made me feel so special because I knew you cared.

Do you know how much I miss you and how much I love you too...

I am trying so hard to stay strong because I know you didn't like it
when I was Blue.

in special memory with love,
Lisa C. Close

Sweet Steph  / Julie Schlitter (next door neighbor )
Jerry, Shirl & Ash,  I am so overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness I just read on your websites.  Steph...how loved & remembered.  Her amazing smile & sweetness.  She was so kind, friendly, respectful, fun to talk with.  I liked our talks.  I can remember this week a yr. ago, such incredible saddness- I felt so helpless.  I looked at my own daughter, my life in a different/new way.  I don't know what happened to Steph, she was there, time passed, & then the last time I saw her she seemed like a stranger.  She was on the deck, talking on the phone, her hair so dark-hanging over her face.  I said nothing, went inside, back to my own life.  I wish I had said something, anything.  What a scary place to be Steph, but you're not alone.  I see Steph's sweet smile every time I talk with one of you. Your family has enduring strength & love- I'm proud to be your neighbor, your friend.  God Bless Steph- her lively spirit and kind soul.  Sincerely, Julie, Rich & Morgan    
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